For people who don’t know all that much about the process behind surrogacy, the same question always arises: what happens if the surrogate mother becomes attached and wants to keep the baby? There are horror stories of surrogate mothers suing for the baby they carried to term, and understandably, it freaks out prospective parents. But don’t worry – these instances are incredibly rare, and the vast majority of women become surrogates to help others complete their families.
Surrogate mothers are well aware of what they’re signing up for, and their motivations show that they simply love bringing a child into the world to help build families and change the world.
Here are a few reasons why you should never be afraid of the surrogate mother wanting to keep the child. In fact, all the surrogate mother wants is to see your happy and healthy family united. She wants to help your family grow. And she wants the respect she deserves.
- Surrogate mothers themselves believe that surrogacy takes a special type of person.
There is a prevalence of misunderstanding around why a woman would want to become a surrogate. Surrogates themselves understand that it takes a special type of person. Most become surrogates for altruistic reasons. They want to spread the joy of parenthood to those who can’t achieve it themselves.
- A study of American and British surrogates shows that surrogate mothers just “want to give the gift of life”.
Most surrogates are mothers themselves who understand how it feels to bring your baby home for the first time. They understand what it feels like to go without sleep, to care for a tiny human, and to be a first time parent. They want others to experience this as well.
- Most surrogates simply enjoy being pregnant and experiencing childbirth.
That’s right – women who are surrogates have their own kids at home! Many surrogate mothers enjoy the experience of being pregnant. They love experiencing childbirth. They love bringing a child into the world. It has nothing to do with whether they want to keep the child – they know the child is going to a happy home!
- Women who choose to become surrogates report that surrogacy fulfills and adds something to their lives
Women who become surrogates report increased feelings of self-worth and confidence. They enjoy the development of intense and lifelong friendships in the commissioning parents, particularly the mother-to-be. They love the surrogacy experience!
- In most surrogates, relinquishing the baby is a happy moment.
These women are happiest when they see the happy family unit they help create! Many surrogates report feeling relieved when they deliver a healthy baby, and filled with joy at the new family’s bundle of love.
- According to studies, most surrogates believe they have already completed their own family.
Most surrogates already have completed families of their own. Studies show that surrogate mothers are less attached to the babies growing inside them and less attached to the baby following delivery.
- Surrogacy agencies are successful in supporting surrogates to achieve a cognitively positive pregnancy and birth.
This is why it’s best to work with an agency, because agencies such as New Life Georgia provide the additional support. It always helps to have an agency to ensure that the surrogate mother has all the mental and emotional support she needs.
As a prospective parent, you feel that you already love this baby who is about to become a huge part of your family. You might even feel like EVERYONE wants that baby! But that’s simply not the case. The surrogate mother is here to help your family, and she wants to see your family grow and flourish!