If you’re a gay couple considering surrogacy you might be wondering, “Is my experience going to be different in any way because we’re a gay couple? Tons of research has been conducted about how parenthood impacts the gay couple’s life.
No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, parenthood changes things. In general, having a child decreases relationship quality, sexual satisfaction, and sexual frequency. Emerging research suggests that gay couples experience these similar challenges. In this article, we explore the ways in which fatherhood changes a gay couple’s life, and how it can draw a couple closer.
How having babies changes the gay couple’s life:
- Parenthood increases men’s commitment to their partner.
Whatever situation you had with your partner before having a child, your commitment is about to get real. You’re going to be more committed than ever because you are going to have to rely on each other like never before. But keep in mind, it might be more challenging to have the energy to maintain the relationship in the same way you could before the babies came along. Be sure to grab a babysitter and don’t forget to go out on dates and continue spending quality time with each other. You’re going to need it!
- Parenthood increases a couple’s sense of acceptance in their relationships.
Studies show that once a gay couple becomes parents together, they get closer in many ways. First, they both re-evaluate what’s important in their relationships. They get better at picking their battles with their spouse, and they identify as being more on the same team. This is important, because you guys are going to have to work together!
- Gay couples fare better when they have the support of their friends, family, and workplaces.
This one’s a no-brainer, because everyone fares better when they have the support they need. According to a 2011 study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, “Higher perceived workplace support, family support, and relationship quality were related to lower depressive symptoms at the time of adoption, and higher perceived friend support was related to lower anxiety symptoms.” It certainly helps if you live in a gay-friendly neighborhood as well.
- On the flip side, gay couples who live in anti-gay legal climates fare the worst.
Studies show that gay couples who live in regions with high-levels of internalized homophobia and unfavorable legal climates regarding gay rights experience the steepest increases in depressive and anxious symptoms. So if you and your partner live in a region of the world that isn’t super accepting to alternative family styles, you’re going to want to find your local “family” of people who can support, understand, and love your family exactly the way it is.
- Studies show that gay-led families are resilient and stick together, despite family stressors.
No matter who you are or what kind of family you have, you can be an amazing parent and have a happy relationship for the rest of your life. Here at New Life Georgia, we believe that gay parents can be amazing parents, and enjoy increased quality of life with the family they’ve always wanted.